Sunday, October 15, 2006

....no title available.

First of all I need a faster internet connection. 112kbps is way too slow.

Answers to yesterdays questions.

Ok. Im too lazy to write. Maybe some other day.

Gnite.

Saturday, October 14, 2006

Revival

Poring through a maze of ubiquitins, pappiloma viruses and carcinomas, I feel the urge to write. An urge to express my thoughts. And I remember.. somewhere in my subconcious..that I once had a blog. And I put two posts on it.

Mission Revive the Blog..
Hurdle :I forgot the damn password. Look again inside my brain. Try to make those weary neurons connect. Fire them up. And voila! Le pass est ici.

I shall use this blog as I see fit. To express anger. Sadness.Joy. Depression. Elation. Thought.

Im all alone. My pot of emotions is overflowing. I feel sick of college. Tests coming up in two days. I want to get out. Go on a holiday. Forget the rest of the world. Enjoy existence.

Im feeling nostalgic. My last few days in college. Good friends are hard to come by. Leaving college is going to be such a difficult thing. I have to face the big big world. So many people have helped me through this journey. How do I thank them all?

Im feeling desperate. Undergraduate life is almost over. My application proces for a PhD is maybe in a mess. I dont know which places to apply to. Will I get through a good univ? Are my acads enough? Will I make it somewhere? Be someone other than a nonentity?

I hate myself. Because im so absent-minded. Because I'm so indecisive. Because that makes people think of me as an irresponsible irreparable idiot. How do I explain that im so absent minded that I forget to remember to bring back my bag from college every day? Whats wrong with my memory? Will takin memory-plus help me? Why cant I 'compartmentalize' my thoughts as my mom calls it? Why is my brain whirring all the time about so many things in parallel that I forget to think bout whats happening now?

When will I find the answers? Maybe time will tell.

Im feeling sleepy. I have had a bad attack to sinusitis today. And I havent done one small bit of useful reading. (Again I hate myself for the almost ingenous ways I find to waste time). So I decide that sleeping now and waking up early in the morning tomorrow is the best way out

Good Night.